Day 8 (phew)
Argh! Last nite I ran down to the fridge to check on my chia seed pudding. I was craving a bite, I was a little hungry. I took it out of the fridge and it wasn't ready. I should have put it right back, but decided to stir it. I must of been in a daze because I looked down at my dog slippers and chia pudding is hitting them. I think, "it must be coming out of the top of the jar". Nope! I broke the side of the glass. Floor, pants, and slippers drenched with liquid chia! My insides are crying.
But I carry myself to bed (after the cleanup)and get up this morning. Took a great run with the dog, quick shower, made my oatmeal, lunch, and jammed out the door in a hurry.
My day flew by. Kinda had a funk filled day of taking things to heart more than I should. I felt really sensitive and vulnerable today. Was it the addition of the oats?
I had a panic moment when I stopped at the grocery store and tried to call home and no answer. I panicked, everything that I could think could go wrong went through my head. I wanted to cry. I was so worried what might be wrong. Worked on my breathing on the way home. Ambulances passing me, panic rises (just a side note for those who don't know my fabulous husband is epileptic, so have high panic that he could be having a seizure). I continue to remind myself that my breathe is what I can control.
This cleanse is about grief and sadness. And boy was this coming up for me today. Dealing with my dads passing brings up waves of sadness and has me feeling vulnerable in situations that normally feel fine. That wave came back strong today, I realize now that when these feelings come up I need to recognize them and remember to give myself the space I need. My day went fast because I didn't have much time to myself and in turn forgot when I needed to check in.
Tonight I checked in! Had a great meal of lentil, cauliflower, sweet potato curry stew with my safe and totally oblivious cuties that I was trying to call.
Then took the time to "doodle", while Adrian did his math homework. I chose to create this bird that is in flight. The stress of the day can get to us. The news, the drama, or whatever can overwhelm our thoughts. Just remember to open your wings, float, glide, and take flight. Feel the air and trust that life will guide us on this journey. Breathe.