Days Passing

remindersI keep walking by my yogurt container that has my cleaned paint brushes from two weeks ago and look at them with a feeling of regret.  I skipped my time in my studio last week, because I had holiday projects to make and create.  I keep kicking myself that I chose to skip that time and those paint brushes keep reminding me of this choice.

The feeling of avoiding my work because I am afraid I won't paint something good or paint at all keeps coming into thought.  Is this why I have procrastinated and avoided my studio?

It does ring a bit true, that fear is overtaking my thoughts and guiding my decisions. Then my boss asked me how my holiday project making went and I told her it was fun, but I skipped my art night.  She said "that's creative".  She is right, I have kicked myself all week about not showing up for my time, but I did.  It was just a different creative and maybe I needed to release an easier creativity.

Today I gave those holiday gifts out and got that great feeling and driving energy that I get when I give.  Just like the energy I get when someone enjoys my paintings and wants my work in their space.  So sometimes that "creative" energy may be simply craft work, cooking, dancing, or gardening.  And I am okay with that.  The paint brushes can sit, but not forever, and I can move a different creative energy around, so when I get to that studio it will be the right energy.